Monday, April 4, 2011

When heart breaks !

They passed their primary level together from the same school and now it was time to bid adeiu !! Hers was a convent and he joined a Co-Ed . Time passed by and so were the days of two with their own group of friends....!! No communication as there wasn't any means nor were any known feelings.


But as they say - if it's destiny it will happen no matter what ! That he was giving away his old exercise books to a kabadi wala ,and a phone number striked his eyes, it was 'her' land line number ....and that's when this story begins !!!


She(Rashi) was a simple, studious, innocent and an extremely polite character, often known as Daddy's Girl among her friends circle. Overly protective child of her parents and least bothered about the world. She was within her own cocoon. He(Kiran) on the other hand was an introvert, mischievous and mysterious at the same time.


That was a bright sunny day, Rashi got a call. It was Kiran on the other side. Absolutely glad to hear each other after such a long span of time, they talked for hours that day and it continued for many more months but they never met. Kiran was trying for his abroad studies and before he moved he wanted to see his childhood crush Rashi. He asked her to meet but Rashi humbly denied and he didn't force too.

It was almost a month they haven't called each other. Tensed and perplexed Rashi couldn't resist and for the first time, picked up the receiver and called him up.
Rashi: Hello! May I talk to Kiran?
Kiran's Mom: He has already flied to U.S.A
Rashi: But when?
Kiran's Mom: Today morning.

Rashi regretted, scolded herself and was completely down. She thought she should apologize and hurriedly signed in to email, but to her amusement, her inbox was showing Kiran's email at this side. They continued to share their words via emails. The internet proved to be a trustworthy bridge thereafter. Another year passed by and their friendship was still the same.

This was the day of his return flight. Kiran was back to his motherland. After a week they finally managed to meet. His looks hadn't changed much, tall, lean, short hair and in a checkered shirt he looked sexy. She was cleanly dressed, wavy long hair and no make ups, looked absolutely adorable. Kiran was sure that he loved this girl at his first sight but couldn't dare to utter a single word. Extremely diplomatic lad used to give her the hints, but those words never created any miracle. Rashi still had no clue. Their decent friendship couldn't changed it's track even after so many years. That night Kiran couldn't take a nap. With his red puffy eyes he was waiting for the sun to rise and his mind had already created a garland of words to be expressed infront of Rashi the other day...

It was drizzling. They were walking down the street. The weather itself was very romantic. Kiran couldn't have another better time to pour his heart out. With all his heart, with all his soul, with all his mind, he finally expressed his love towards her. He assured her that she is the only girl he had ever loved and will be loving forever. Rashi was quiet, patiently listening every bit of his word, trying to understand and respond but was finding it too hard to express. She couldn't agree nor she denied. He dropped her home but returned back without any answer. Days, weeks, months passed. They were still walking together, she was still clueless, perplexed and without any answer. He was still waiting and their friendship still growing....


After a year of patience, eventually friendship started to blossom into love in Rashi's heart. She was all happy to feel something new that was going in her mind and heart. Every morning she used to wake up thinking about that one name and the same name repeats before she took a nap. Love between two childhood friends was divine. However, Rashi still was not spilling a word. Kiran was still waiting for that perfect day to start. Deep inside their hearts, they knew they feel for each other but words failed to pop up every single time.


Kiran dropped her home wishing to see her tomorrow in the same place as usual. She waved her hand and wished the same. The next day she called him up but the cell phone was switched off. She tried again that day, the next day and the next day and the next day.... but the cell was still switched off. Eighteen days passed by but no responses from Kiran. Rashi was frustrated.

He would rather lose his eyes than not see her; he would rather lose his life than desert her but now it was all in vain.

Looking out the balcony of her room, the clear, blue skies and beautiful sunset looked absolutely serene. Suddenly, her phone buzzed and it distracted her state of mind. It was his message. " I lost my phone and was busy with some personal work. You take care. I will meet you soon." Another week passed by.

One evening Kiran called Rashi. He asked her to meet him in the evening. Rashi was on cloud nine. She was delighted. She was sparkling. She was overjoyed. She dressed up and was all set to meet him. Today she was going to reply him back. She was going to accept his proposal. She was searching the best words to say "I love you too". It was 5 in the evening and she saw him after so long. The charm was missing somewhere, he had put on his cap which she never liked, he sounded rude, he was not the same Kiran which she knew since her childhood. Before she uttered a word, she was .....shattered. " Can we become best friends? I will be sharing every bit of my stuff with you like before but...but....no other relationship is possible...I cannot become your partner for life." Tears rolled down her cheeks. Words stuck. Heartbeat stopped for a while. She couldn't believe what she heard just now. She was completely traumatized. She forgot about the busy road, the crowd was almost invisible. She ran home crying.

It was raining cats and dogs. She couldn't sleep the whole night. The echo of thunder was intolerable. She was trying to recall what had happened, not just what had happened that evening but all those times they spent together came as a flashback. She still couldn't figure it out, What and Why did he say so? " My god mother, my aunt doesn't want our relationship, so please forgive me. I know I have to pay for your tears, but I just can't help it. Please forgive me" These were the only words that was haunting her. All those promises vanished within a second. She couldn't forgive herself for believing that coward. She tried calling him but the cell was switched off. She tried again and again but he did not respond.

A man who had assured a girl that he could fight with the world to make her happy was lost somewhere. Deep inside her heart she knew whatever he told was just an excuse. He did not share the truth with her. He did not reveal the fact. There was something else that was stopping him to move on....... there was something else....there was something hidden....there was some untold story that had placed a full stop to a new beginning....

Weeks, months and years passed by but there were no replies, there was no response... answers still missing, answers yet to reveal, answers yet to be disclosed !!!



To be continued ....




Keep living and loving !
adieu till my next post !! God Bless ! 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

my first step...!

Jotting down in my thick personal diary was one of my routine job since a long.  I have always believed in pouring my heart out rather than piling up my words and feelings in a corner of my heart and mind . You ask me about my first crush to my first salary experience, I have it all expressed in my own words. My thick personal diary was supposed to be my best friend at some point of time. No judgement, no analysis but patient ears to bear...and that was the reason why I felt my diary as the most comfort zone. 


It was quite exciting when I first heard about the Blog. A personal journal published on world wide web was something very alluring to my ears and i actually couldn't stop myself from trying one and here I am giving it a very first shot. I am enthralled because my words will have voice now. Neither I am a good writer nor am I trying to become, it's just about my random words which will have their own world ! So, expect a normal girl with simple thoughts expressing her own experiences in her own words :) 

Keep living and loving !
adieu till my next post !! God Bless !